Dating Counselor Gifts

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"You've changed."

Relationship Warning Lights

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"