Dating Counselor T-Shirts

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Relationship Warning Lights

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"You've changed."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"...until death do you a favor."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."