Dating Service Consultant Gifts

Mister, Inc: 'Wrong...Right'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

Boyfriend of the Month.

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

The Stages of Wine

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"I'm always impressed by these matrimonial agreements, as my wife and I have never agreed on a thing."

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

You've discovered how elderly dudes can keep picking up chicks? I've amended Giacomo's Theorem, yes. The pickup number is now direction proportional to age in instances where charm is also directly proportional to age. Journals from Milan to Vegas are publishing my findings. Of course, there's one flaw in my theory. Hold that thought, I feel some gas coming on. It won't apply to most dudes.

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"That's the dating guru."

Tom prepares for his hot date.

'How do you like your egg?'

"I'm a simple man, really."

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."