Dating Advisors Gifts

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"My computer just texted me."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

Boyfriend of the Month.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

Hollywood Breakup

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

The Stages of Wine

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."