Dating Advisors Gifts

Rudy, just because Laurel hasn't called you back for a couple hours doesn’t mean she isn't into you. Have some patience. Show some backbone. Besides, you should relish this freedom. You could put this time to great use. Like how? Lining up another filly just in case. You're not helping!

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"My computer just texted me."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Boyfriend of the Month.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Hollywood Breakup

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

The Stages of Wine

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."