Dating Advice Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Let me interrupt your expertise with my confidence."

Hypnotizing Women

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Love me little, love me long.'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Biological Cuckoo clock

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.