Dating Advice Guru T-Shirts

"Dad want's to talk about the birds and the bees/ I guess I'll have to tell him about girls."

'How was your date?'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Boyfriend of the Month.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

Preying mantis marriage councellor.

Catch and release dating.

The Stages of Wine

Express Therapy

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

'Here's how you'll know for sure. Does he always get dreamy and say it, like 'I l-o-o-o-v-e you,' - or is it just a tossed-off, 'Love ya!?'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Online Dating for Dummies

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

Sulking

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

'Yes, I'm a drone and don't do much, but she's a workaholic!'

"You've lost what - your Mojo!"

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

'Face it, Tharg, girls just don't want to be abducted any more.'

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."