Date Night Disasters Pillows

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

"Besides it having no atmosphere, this restaurant seems to have a very bad attitude."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Do you mind?"

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'S'more wine?'

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

"I like Chardonnay, but I like saying 'Pinot Grigio.'"

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"You and I haven't had an in-house date in a long, long, long time!"

"This may be the wine talking, but I'm wasted."

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"Could you handle this...I'm all decisioned-out for today."

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

"It's so romantic here with all these candles!"

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

I'm an investor. My star sign is predator.

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"I overestimated the amount of fun you can have on a balcony."

"We found we really missed going to the theatre and eating in nice restaurants, so we gave our kids away."