Date Night Comedians Pillows

"Look, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but. . ."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Toothbrush Romance

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'Very funny!'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

Football Delivery

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

"Women do not appreciate power tools as last minute gift ideas."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

Critics In Love

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'