Date Disaster Storyteller Pillows

'THAT'S your ringtone - I'd like you to take me home now,'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"Re-calculating, arrive at your final destination in six...five...four..."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"May I suggest hard a-starboard, or port, or whatever!"

Chernobyl, 30th anniversary

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

"Over there - an island!"

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'Unusual weather for June'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

'Well, you've been a great companion, Charlie. But you'd better hope we're rescued before Thanksgiving.'

If only they'd taken it with them!

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

I'm an investor. My star sign is predator.

'Wanted for Arson: El ni?o'

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

Desert Island Messages

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

"Could you ask the driver to slow down we're trying to film 'Great Railway Journeys' here.

Shipwrecked - Population 2.

The tip of the iceberg

Free Oil.

'The worse part is there's no ATM here.'

"Public display of rejection"

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'