Data Irony Gifts

'This is interesting, 70% of respondents to our survey said they don't respond to surveys.'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

Businessman dreaming of pie charts when he sees a pizza.

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

"That's a zombie, alright. But he's the worst kind. He doesn't eat brains, he eats data."

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

Bar chart

"It's the latest directive from senior management about how to run a 'paperless office'!"

'Yes, Mr Gurkinsky is the lawyer who specializes in advocating employees who are endangered of getting fired because of staying away from work for too long... unfortunately, I haven't seen Mr Gurkinsky for about three weeks...'

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

Peep-A-Boo Spyware: 'Your Privacy is Our Eminent Domain!'

'You were the last person I expected to fall down on the job, Trubshaw.'

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

"Hey, Venn - back off! I'm a pie chart."

Pie company: 'Each slice of the pie represents slices of pie.'

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

Everything will look perfectly flat...in your Realtek 2D glasses.

'Please prepare this memo about reducing the use of our photocopiers and give each of our staff a copy. Send them a second copy, as a reminder, in two weeks and send a third reminder the following week.'

'Try rebooting.'

Spam on the Menu at Internet Cafe.

The Canadian government trashes both the long-format census and long-format gun registry.

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

'Don't you think you may have overdone it with the layoffS?'

When statisticians argue.

The buck stops here briefly, then goes on its merry way

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