Data Driver Gifts

Our forecasts may have been a little wishful thinking †heavy on the wishful.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Fear/Knowledge

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Big Data Tonight

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"I love your optimism."

Privacy Conference Security

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Better times ahead.