Data Driver Gifts

Our forecasts may have been a little wishful thinking †heavy on the wishful.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Big Data Tonight

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"I love your optimism."

Privacy Conference Security

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Better times ahead.

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"