Data-driven Thinker Gifts

Construction orders

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

The Googler

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

"When I grow up I hope to get into data storage."

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

Aggression/Security

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

Man stabbed by fallin arrow on wall chart.

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."