Data Drama Lover Gifts

"And, as this chart conclusively demonstrates, by the third quarter, we completely got our act together."

Daytime TV For Nerds

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Fear/Knowledge

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Cut!

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

A little bird told me...

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Big Data Tonight

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

The Unhappy King