Data Drama Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

Aggression/Security

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

"Profits lately have been spiraling downward."

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"Now, who can I trust with a pie chart?"

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"And this is another economic indicator."

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'This must be the effect of the climate change! Even the data cloud has started to rain!'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"It's the only image capable of giving him the feels."