Darwinian Joker Gifts

'Og and Ooga sitting in a tree, e-v-o-l-v-i-n-g!'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'Your teacher doesn't mind a little clowning around in class, Eddie, but she thinks you overdo it.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

Note Book

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

21st century fish, evolving or mutant?

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

'Now that we can talk, let me give you some advice....'

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

The Cartoonists

Gardener of the Year.

"I had that fish for so long it evolved, climbed out of the bowl and walked away."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"