Dark Side Devotee Gifts

Anger management, group therapy

"Bond James, Bond."

Dog yoga

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Silly wig.

Thomas Hardy

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

Charles Addams.

'How come we never get invited to 'come as you are' parties?'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

Poetry Buff.

'What a control freak!'

"They'd sold out of #1's."

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

One book... One book... One book...

Camouflage Unit

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

Sales Campaign - Ok, Fender - sell me!

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

"I try to get a head start on them."

'Oh, you know, the usual...just working.'

"That's a marvellous disguise! I almost ate you."

"Okay, well, welcome everyone, to our first annual shareholders' webcast."

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

"Wait a second - you're not the Invisible Man. You're just three invisible kids in a trench coat."

'So do I get the job or not?'

The majestic North American Care-a-boo.

Head For Business

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

It wasn't the first bad decision Ron O'Neal made, but it would be the last.

'It was a split decision.'

Turkey Owl

'That's what I call a perfect cover for your Australian assignment, 007'

'Boys will be boys, but principals will also be principals!'