Dark Humor Joy Seeker Gifts

Meat Grinder

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"I didn't spark joy."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'... And this is my cellar.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Another day at work would be one too many...

Out To Lurch

Dead Funny

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Housekeeping?!"

End the Winter Blues

The practical psychopath

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...