Dark Humor Explorer Gifts

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'This is a money order.'

'Feet!'

Wealth and Hellbeing.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Dead Funny

Another day at work would be one too many...

Out To Lurch

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

End the Winter Blues

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."