Dark Humor Explorers Gifts

Cellmates.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'... And this is my cellar.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Out To Lurch

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Dead Funny

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

End the Winter Blues

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?