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Lady Macbeth

100 best beheadings

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Charles Addams.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

Vincent Van Goth.

Monkey Business College

Faust

How Witches Do Diabetic Testing.

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

The night

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

Can't you just text me..?

Meet the Artist

'So do I get the job or not?'

"I know I'm evil, but will I ever be diabolical?"

Sinister looking man sits near outline of body, with a sign that reads: 'All my own work'.

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

"Isn't it amazing! My horoscope said I was going to meet a tall dark stranger..."

'Why are you here now?!'

"Well this is a shock. I had you pictured in solids."

'You want Goya - around the corner.'

"I'm sorry Professor, but you know too much!"

Sacrifices at 4:00PM and 6:00PM

"Next time, don't let your anxieties build up ... "

The End is Near

"Oh, come on. How can you be surprised to see me?"

'Are you the devil to pay?'

'Heath. . . Cliff!!!'