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Faust

Scientists are sexy

100 best beheadings

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Lady Macbeth

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

"We can't take breaks, but lunch is provided."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

Vincent Van Goth.

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

If I tell you what I spy with my little eye, I'll have to kill you.

Night of the living will

I told you Norman Bates and Oedipus would have a lot to talk about.

Meet Thy Doom

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

How Witches Do Diabetic Testing.

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

'80 of our business conduct is immoral or illegal. I want you to fix the remaining 20.'

The night

'You'd look good in that.'

Tomorrow's Special: Flavored Whole Milk

"Eat your veggies, eat your grains, but don't forget to eat some brains."

"It was reading about the dangers all the time that drove me to drink!"

"There's a lesson for us. If you don't chop off a few heads now and then, you'll end up paying taxes."