Dangerously Funny Gifts

'Well, so much for Hennessey. ... But from now on, don't make anyone dribble too close to the piranha tank.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Demonic Repossession.

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'You forgot the product label.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Hellbillies.

Bat out of Hell

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

Gas Bill

Heaven and Hell

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

Laboratories - Contaminate Biologicals/Hazardous Material/Radioactive Waste/Mutant Organisms.

The Neighbours from Hell....

A Heated Argument

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

The lessor of two evils.

Summer in Hell

'Occupation?'

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

'Of course you've got a grumbling wife who is an organized labour and who works for the SEC. Where do you think you are, man?'

'I see you've met Butch.'

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

'To be honest, rock n'roll isn't my thing at all, I'm much more a country n'western kinda guy.'

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."