Dangerously Funny T-Shirts

'Well, so much for Hennessey. ... But from now on, don't make anyone dribble too close to the piranha tank.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Demonic Repossession.

'You forgot the product label.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

Hellbillies.

Bat out of Hell

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Gas Bill

Heaven and Hell

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

Laboratories - Contaminate Biologicals/Hazardous Material/Radioactive Waste/Mutant Organisms.

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

The Neighbours from Hell....

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

A Heated Argument

The lessor of two evils.

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

'Occupation?'

'Of course you've got a grumbling wife who is an organized labour and who works for the SEC. Where do you think you are, man?'

Summer in Hell

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

'I see you've met Butch.'

'To be honest, rock n'roll isn't my thing at all, I'm much more a country n'western kinda guy.'

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

'When you're done fixing the furnace, could you gather up these Demons From Hell that escaped?'

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."