Danger Aficionado Pillows

Do Not Open

'If you can read this, you're pretty much screwed.'

It was a short trip to the bathroom, but a trip that was fraught with danger.

Dagger Juggling Circus Act Goes Wrong

The first car accident.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Hugh fans!"

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

Oedipus

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'Make it look like an accident.'

Man putting his head in a lion's mouth

"Fasten your seat belt."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'Soulless fruit flies are the nanotechnology of the fear industry.'

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'You have some nice car chasing scenes here.'

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"It's called being preemptive."