Dairy Dilemma Enthusiast Gifts

"If we're going dairy-free, does that mean you-know-who goes back to the barn?"

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Lactose Intolerant

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Oh Hi!'

Important Food Groups

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Cheese Pile

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

A consumer guide to cheese.

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'