Daily Shopper's Dilemma Pillows

'No, I'm sorry, we don't do the large tins any more.'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

Sale.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

The Bargain Brand

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

Down on Her.

How much would you take off for cash?

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

Complex Carbs

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Cash Rebate

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

'This could be a swell time to buy our selves out!'