Daily Life Gymnast Pillows

"I, too, get the twisties."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

How to injury yourself as an adult

The Eternal Battle Over Who Is More Tired

'Help wanted: Various positions available'

'Think how funny this would all be on a TV sitcom.'

'I'm bored.'

"Pawn to King Four."

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

Me, my master is a lawyer, so car rides with him are always exciting: we chase ambulances!"

"Will your spiritual journey take you anywhere near the shops?"

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

"You call that a made bed?"

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

"The air I breathe is filthy..."

'I saw the light during my near death experience, but it turned out to be in my refrigerator.'

Lather, rinse, dry, style, get dressed, go to work,come home, eat dinner, go to bed, wake up, repeat.

'I like waking up every morning to see what opportunities and challenges the new day holds for me.'

Woman Dancing.

Man leaving house with 'The world ends at noon today sign' "What do you want for dinner, dear?"

"If you want to turn it off, you just pull this chain until you accidentally turn it back on."

"I'm always recovering from the previous ten minutes of my existence."

"There it goes again. That dang phone's here someplace..."

The much more typical...Renaissance Man.