Daily Comic Reader Gifts

The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.

I'm thinking of voting for Bernie Sanders, but I have no idea why. I know why, little buddy. Socialist. Old man. Gray, frizzy hair. Gets grumpy when people aren't listening to him. Not following. Think

I want to ask the creators of Rudy Park if I can have a couple of weeks of vacation from the strip. But I see some possible obstacles. For one, it makes no sense. This is your life. You can't take a vacation from being you. Right. Plus, I'm worried about the readers. How can they get through their mornings if I'm not there? HOJ. Take a month. I suspect some people will grow very, very, very depressed.

'Dang.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Billy. The Kid.

'Fetch.'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

The Amazing Man-Spider

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

X-ray Psychology.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

Atomic Bear: Part 22

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Time Machine Collision

The Salmon Run

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'