Daddy's Girl Dynamics Pillows

"This is the boy I was telling you about, Daddy...meet Raymond!"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'A is for Arse.'

D.I.Y with dad.

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

Soccer kids texting

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

"I will have the riesling, and a thimble of your best pinot noir for the little lady."

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

Elephant rides.

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

Operation Father's Day

"Dad, I'm playing the role of the husband in our school play!"

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"So you're the artist dating my daughter? I've seen your work...you MUST be starving."

Love for the family

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

'Actually, Fathers' Day is more important to me than Mothers' Day: Daddy actually raised me...'

'Santa forgot the bloody batteries!'

'Around here your mom is the management. I'm just the middle management.'

Daughter/psychiatrist

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving