Daddy Day Care Pillows

Dear, I think Alayna needs to be burped again.

"If anyone asks I'm leaving early to spend a bit of time with my kids."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'A is for Arse.'

D.I.Y with dad.

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

Out of patience

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

Operation Father's Day

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

Love for the family

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'When the bough broke, did the daycare center's insurance rates go up?'

'Actually, Fathers' Day is more important to me than Mothers' Day: Daddy actually raised me...'

'Around here your mom is the management. I'm just the middle management.'

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

Fenderson really knows how to pick his battles.

"Work soft, play soft, Son"

'Now, shake, boy, shake...'

Happy Father's Day: 'More allowance? What happened to the 2 acorns I gave you on Saturday?'

"My dad's a magician- he walks down the road and turns into a pub."

Take-Your-Child-To-Work-Day

"I'm looking for a day care provider. . . besides TV."

Frankenstein's monster does Father's Day.