Daycare Diplomat Pillows

Fenderson really knows how to pick his battles.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Playground reputation.

Out of patience

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."