Dad Jokes Collector Pillows

"His name's Trev." "What's Trev short for?"

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

Next to Nothing

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Note Book

"It's a dependent!"

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

"No sign of Simba?"

"I don't ever want you taken away, son. Never get into subtraction."

Child on a schedule.

'Dad, I need help with chemistry, what's the periodic table?'

'In this rare photo of President Bush standing beside former President Clinton, one can't help but notice how the weight of office has grayed their hair.'

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

"Oh no, the lectern and microphone. I get the feeling I'm getting another one of your boring life lectures."

'What'd you make dad' - 'It's a snowman, with his ugly, ungrateful son,'

"Yo, Greg!" "Hey, Warren!"