Dachshund Admirer Gifts

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

"Ok, Santa comes in and goes for the cookies, while I sneak up and join the reindeer! Foolproof!"

'I'm a wiener, not a winner.'

The inner dog emerging from a sausage dog.

"Oh, look - a Halloweiner dog!"

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"He was a very good boy."

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

"Meow"

"That's the preacher's dog."

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Fifty Shades of Gray

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

There are no rats with collars...

"We should get out to the country more often."

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Flea Philosophy.

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Hyenas as Pets

"Okay, who's purring?"

Pet owner hanging Obedience School diploma

Dogs and Chickens

Long Dachshund

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'