Dachshund Admirer Gifts

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

"Ok, Santa comes in and goes for the cookies, while I sneak up and join the reindeer! Foolproof!"

'I'm a wiener, not a winner.'

The inner dog emerging from a sausage dog.

"Oh, look - a Halloweiner dog!"

"Could have been Rocket, Bullet, maybe even Missile or Spear…but oh no, Wiener it is."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"He was a very good boy."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Wiener Dog . . . Dog Wiener

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"That's the preacher's dog."

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Meow"

No, I don

'Please keep in mind this is only a 'ruff' copy.'

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"We should get out to the country more often."

Fifty Shades of Gray

There are no rats with collars...

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Flea Philosophy.

Pet owner hanging Obedience School diploma

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Okay, who's purring?"