Dachshund Fan Gifts

"We went with the burger dog instead of the weiner dog."

Dachshund Chasing a Stretch Limousine

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

No littering...

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

The inner dog emerging from a sausage dog.

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

Museum of Bones

Boy weighs puppy: 'Ten... that's 70 in people-pounds, Sparky.'

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

Long Dachshund

The Rolling Bones

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

'You wouldn't be very good at petting dachshunds.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'Is he sitting?'

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

Dachshund Yoga

"Ok, Santa comes in and goes for the cookies, while I sneak up and join the reindeer! Foolproof!"

Tiger suddenly realizes he enrolled in the wrong class.

'You know Rosco, our species just ain't what it used to be.'

"He's taken it badly. Been a working dog all his life."

'How did you know his name was Fritz?'...

"Kate! Long time, no sniff!"

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

'He's not too picky. He'll sleep through most anything.'