Cycling Skeptic Gifts

'How about a bike ride?' 'Nah, the seat hurts my butt, and I'd have to put air in the tires, and I'd have to put shorts on so my pant leg doesn't get caught and...' 'And you'd have to get up.' 'And I'd have to get up.'

"I'm telling you, that thing's a death trap."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

Freedom Puppet

"Of course, Perkins likes to think he can make it to the top outside the corporate structure."

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'I'm going to have to go with the leeches on this one....'

'The government is offering us financial incentives to offer out staff financial incentives to offer our customers financial incentives to come up withsome good ideas for financial incentives.'

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

It's much easier on my knees.

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

Sustainable transport

Retirement became the obvious decision.

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

'We have a dysfunctional congress, dysfunctional economy, dysfunctional health care system... that's why I'm quitting government so I can join the insurance lobby and run things!'

The Thought Really Doesn't Count

Cycle Lane

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

'Bud's body is in a pretty good shape; it's his mind that needs work.'

"The government believes that the benefit system is out of hand!"