Cybersecurity Savant Pillows

'For outstanding work in computer science, I present you with this activation key to the city!'

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"My mommy's passwords are stronger than your mommy's passwords."

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Where was I?

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Minority Report

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Careful! He knows computers."

A Little Extra

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."