Cybercafe Visiting Gifts

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'You've had enough!'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"I'd say business was brisk."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

I know why you're such a greedy, heartless scrooge, Armstrong. It's because deep down, you just want to be loved. But you're afraid of rejection, so you make yourself as unlovable as possible. That's the type of utter nonsense to expect from muscle-bound oaf who hadn't paid his tab in 13 years. I love you too, man. I hope you get audited.

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'So how would you like your coffee...Small, Large or Intravenous???'

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem?! I'm an atheist. How come there's no national holiday for that? There is! It's called "Christmas"! The ads and the marketers have sucked everything religious out of it. Nothing in the Bible says "thou shalt shop." Good point.

"Crumble an empire on that!"

"I knew you'd like this place."

"You'll love this internet cafe. It's got great blogosphere."

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

It's the Ask Sadie Advice hour. "Shmernie" in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to accomplish my goal but just as I think I'm about to make it happen, it gets snatched out from under me. Give it up, "Shmernie"! It's over! This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment form "Shmoses.

"We don't serve food here, we only photograph it..."

"Two non-fat lattes and a decaf flat white, please."

Coming soon - the Barrel! 'OH BOY!!'

'Separate bills please.'

'Hey let's see what 'Aroma Lattes' is like, Jill! I've heard the coffee here IS to die for!'

"Hot chocolate, straight. ...make it a double."

'Salt and pepper spray- this is a tough joint!'

Two people are sat in a cold café having hot chocolate.

Awning for Customer Use Only

"Great to be back at the 'office', just a glass of water for me, thanks."

"Why yes! We have free Wi-Fi-Fo-Fum! No fee!"

"Good! I see they made the coffee nice and strong this morning."

Marx & Hegel Buy a Bagel.