Cybercafe Visitor Gifts

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

Tell me I didn't miss the chance. What? You're wearing a nice shirt and ironed slacks. Tell me I didn't miss the chance. To do what? House of Java Cybercafe. Be the first to tell you: Whatever you dressed up for will wind up being a huge disappointment. It's important to my brand to be first with an insult. Not sure anyone else is competing.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'You've had enough!'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'So how would you like your coffee...Small, Large or Intravenous???'

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem?! I'm an atheist. How come there's no national holiday for that? There is! It's called "Christmas"! The ads and the marketers have sucked everything religious out of it. Nothing in the Bible says "thou shalt shop." Good point.

"You'll love this internet cafe. It's got great blogosphere."

Clown Art Museum - 'If you look at her pies, they almost seem to follow you.'

'Salt and pepper spray- this is a tough joint!'

'Hey let's see what 'Aroma Lattes' is like, Jill! I've heard the coffee here IS to die for!'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice hour. "Shmernie" in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to accomplish my goal but just as I think I'm about to make it happen, it gets snatched out from under me. Give it up, "Shmernie"! It's over! This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment form "Shmoses.

"Great to be back at the 'office', just a glass of water for me, thanks."

"If you can safeguard this punch card for half a decade, you get a free coffee."

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

"Why yes! We have free Wi-Fi-Fo-Fum! No fee!"

"We don't serve food here, we only photograph it..."

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee every morning... but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

Computer is set up to 'Chat with Santa' for children waiting in line.

"Sorry you can't go in...no ties allowed"

Oh good life, you give to me … a gift sweeter than a rose. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Sunday night at 9, you see: Binge watching Sopranos. Mobsters be her muse.

Your face is still hurting? You'd better get that checked. Maybe it'll go away. House of Java.net Cybercafe. True. Or maybe it'll turn into something a lot worse because you didn't get it checked today. It could be nothing, but it could also be nerve damage. Or an infection in your gums. You could lose all your teeth, little buddy. How'd you like to try paying for implants on minimum wage? That sounds awesome. Can they be bionic? "Matter-Eater Lad" was my favorite superhero.

She's a latte animal.

At a caf? the special board says 'Today's special - take it, or leave it.'

A long, long way from indigent, Bert's depedence on coffee knew no bounds.

"Hey, it's the high risk people!"

Next to coffee machine is machine offering 'Your 2c worth'.