Cyber Surfer Pillows

"Don't listen to him. You shouldn't be visiting sites like that."

'Keeping up with technology is a full-time job.'

Surfin' the web.

It can't hurt to open one little attachment, can it?...Pandora's Inbox.

Websiteless -- please help.

Internet Surfer

Surf and turf

'Hey buddy, why don't you get a life? Hahaha.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'Not that net!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

TV-Man

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Baby on board.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Trick or Tweet

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

How I met your mother

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Crop duster wanted.

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'