Cyber Humor Aficionados Pillows

"I don't know where all these emails are coming from."

Chasebook

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Mom, I need a push.'

Blues for now.

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

'I'm just surfing the web.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

I'm not saying he's dumb, but talking to him is like talking to a firewall.

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

M.D. We call it "MySpace Wrist." Stop taking pictures of yourself.

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Before we go any further, I must warn you that this is not a secure network."

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

"Welcome to the team, Mr Ware. What did you say your first name was?"

'We use intelligent robots, but not to intelligent because they'd want a union.'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

'The poor shlubb -- his country still only has dial-up.'

'Enjoy yourself...take time to smell the plastic flowers.'

Ventrilamatch.com

'I've always felt safe shopping online.'

'Well, we're still tweaking a few bugs in our online ordering service...'

Human Resources: Due to Drones, Driverless cars, and Apps, we are not now hiring human beings...

If Leonardo Da Vinci had posted a copy of the Mona Lisa online after painting it.

ISIS threatened to attack the Mall of America. That's so 1990s. What? Most people don't shop in malls anymore. Most of us shop online from home or from our phones. Someone should tell them the shopper-threatening business just isn't what it used to be. You're not taking them seriously enough. Wake me when they figure out how to send hordes of miniaturized men into my iPhone.

'I typed in a nasty message about Bill Gates, and the whole thing froze up on me!'