Cyber Crime Detective Gifts

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Alternative Medicine

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

The new Physics

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I think Baxter needs a break."

I'd rather be phishing.

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

"...and for your part in the computer fraud I sentence you to eighteen months @www.hermajestiesprison.co.uk"

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

The Darknet starts right here.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"If there's a way in, they'll find it."

"He opened his email and saw the attachment from an unknown source. His hand slowly reached to click on the paper clip. He had no idea what horror awaited him. . ."

Berlitz guide to Scamese

It's only an email, what harm can it do?

"We're cyber criminals, Barnes, NOT common criminals. Go get cleaned up and look like you're tech-savvy."

Amateur Spam.

'Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back on eBay.'

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"I already know he's gone — it's been on the Internet."

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

The Big Bad Wolf

"Hello?"

"I warned him being online was dangerous."

Skinny P. monitors the compliance of social media standards.