Cyber Identity Detective Gifts

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

The new Physics

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"I only told a few friends."

"I think Baxter needs a break."

Spam traps on mobiles

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"...and for your part in the computer fraud I sentence you to eighteen months @www.hermajestiesprison.co.uk"

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

The Darknet starts right here.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"If there's a way in, they'll find it."

"He opened his email and saw the attachment from an unknown source. His hand slowly reached to click on the paper clip. He had no idea what horror awaited him. . ."

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

It's only an email, what harm can it do?