Cyber Behavior Analyst Gifts

"Dr. Jeckyl and... Mr. Internet"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Hoodie Hang-out

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

Big Brother.

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

Proof of Being Human

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

CIA Recommended TVs

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

Information Security

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'