Social Behavior Analyst Gifts

How Life Changes In A Paperless Society.

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

'Damn kids have given binge drinkin' a bad name.'

Everyday Trumpism

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

'Not in front of the neighbours, dear.'

Learning to read body language, lesson one: 'Leave me alone!'

'Don't worry, I always stand this close to people.'

Unacceptable Social Behaviour

"I was fired everywhere because I have no manners. Give me some money, you b*@£%d!"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Hoodie Hang-out

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Kids' energy levels

"People are crazy."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'