Anti-social Behavior Analyst Gifts

Hoodie Hang-out

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

Kids' energy levels

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

"People are crazy."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"

"Dr. Jeckyl and... Mr. Internet"

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'Switch off that mobile phone, we can't afford to have you distracted: You're on watch duty!'

Sigmund Freud

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"Great work son, but you should have gone for the baby!"

'Dogs are nothing but kiss-ups!'

"The only difference between the big cats and us is that they can be trained."