Anti-social Behavior Analyst T-Shirts

Hoodie Hang-out

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

Kids' energy levels

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

"People are crazy."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

"Dr. Jeckyl and... Mr. Internet"

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'Switch off that mobile phone, we can't afford to have you distracted: You're on watch duty!'

Sigmund Freud

Silent Body Language

"Great work son, but you should have gone for the baby!"

'Dogs are nothing but kiss-ups!'