Cyber Angel Gifts

"I never gave you more than you could handle. Well, except for all those passwords."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

Policeman talking to lost child

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

"I still maintain an online presence."

"The jocks bullied me in gym class, so I erased all the data on their computers. They should know never to mess with a computer geek."

Your angel is always with you

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

'I knew I should've used the fluorescent golf balls.'

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

Guardian Angels and Operations

"Do you have other references? We feel your guardian angel would be biased in your favor."

"Sorry, but until I update the antivirus software, I want to be sure you don't click on any attachments again."

An anarchist angel wearing his halo as a hoop earring,

"Two bars—how about you?"

'I would have called you sooner, but I had no idea you handled ransomware attacks!'

'I'm going back as a ghost. It's time to give something back to the community.'

"Try twenty-three left."

Dead rock star plays loud music in heaven

'How can tweeting be hard for someone so bird-like?'

'What do you mean, your church didn't give you a password?'

"What the...no cell phone coverage?"

Angel becomes Beggar

'Can I be someone else's Guardian Angel? The guy's a bleeder.'

"The halo and wings I understand. The Bullet proof jacket I don't."

Internet.

Always remember... the roadside signs are there for a reason!

Twelve-step verification

'I'm worried about him, Clive. His new friends seem quite rough.'

'If you're in Heaven, Reagan, how come that nice Senator Kennedy isn't?', 'Maybe it's because when I was younger, I was a lifeguard.'