Cv Critique Enthusiast Pillows

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Filling the Missile Gap

'Does anyone else have any complaints?'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

The Real Russian history

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

"I'd like your honest, unbiased and possibly career-ending opinion on something."

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

'You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome aboard, Barnes.'

Art is a cruel mistress.

'I see by your resume that you're toilet-trained.'

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

Ezra Pound

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

Editor