Cv Critic Pillows

'I'm just sorting through the latest job applications now.'

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

'This is the worst CV I've ever seen!'

'Interesting. . . I see you have a degree in 'Under Achieving'. . .'

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

"I'd like your honest, unbiased and possibly career-ending opinion on something."

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

"You could do a lot worse then be good at football... I know... some people have to settle for politics."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'