Cv Critic Gifts

'I'm just sorting through the latest job applications now.'

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

'This is the worst CV I've ever seen!'

'Interesting. . . I see you have a degree in 'Under Achieving'. . .'

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

Evolution of love

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."

Tunnel of what passes for love these days. Tickets.

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

"I'd like your honest, unbiased and possibly career-ending opinion on something."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."